Good Morning Viet Nam

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Basic Instinct

Did I say August? I meant April, perhaps I'll even be back before March is through if I can swing it. That was a no-brainer. Yesterday was "trying on decisions" and the "Going Home" outfit fit so well that "Staying in Thailand" didn't really stand a chance. Honestly, I was so excited and in such a good mood yesterday that I completely forgot I still have an open wound. Wanted to sleep on it to make sure I felt as happy with my decision in the morning, and am relieved to report that I did.

Seeing how I was a P.E. teacher in my former life, I gave Thailand a fair shot. I did some research for other various volunteer organizations, but when it came down to it, I couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach that I had when I read the job descriptions. And seeing how I am a firm believer in the fact that one's instincts are ALWAYS 110% correct, I have to follow my gut on this one.

While I was elated to finally come to that decision yesterday, it took me a while to actually be comfortable with it. Before I left, I thought that I could only return when I had intercepted a vision, goal, and direction as to what to do with my life. Seeing how I have none of those right now, I didn't think home was an option. Nobody wants to be a failure, and the fact that I will have been gone for only 5 months instead of my allotted 12, is only one of the many ways, in my head, that I have failed. BUT upon further thought, I have realized that while I don't know what I am going to do when I get home, I do know who I am. That has been the biggest lesson of this trip. Not only do I know who I am, but I am also comfortable in my own skin, which is a very nice change. And I know that what I want to do will eventually fall into place, but for the time being I just want to have some fun.

Has she totally gone off the deep end on those antibiotics?! Nope. As they say in Vietnam, "Same same, but different".


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